


Death by Denim

by spinner_atropos



Series: Short But Pointless, X-Files Edition [5]
Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M, Rain, Undressing, accidental nudity, atths
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-03-21 12:09:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13740576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spinner_atropos/pseuds/spinner_atropos
Summary: “You need to get out of those wet clothes.”Thanks, Doctor Obvious.





	Death by Denim

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the time I was caught in a pop-up Lake Erie thunderstorm. Except more interesting.

I hate the Pacific Northwest.

What started out as a clear blue day, if a little chilly, turned into a full-on monsoon. Scully had had the foresight to carry the rain poncho she'd brought. I had not.

By the time we made it back to the car I was soaked through to the skin. I folded myself into my seat despite my jeans having turned into cast iron and we headed for the motel. Scully was kind enough to crank the heat up but it really didn’t help, and I started shivering.

Besides the wet and the cold, I was starting to feel a little… compressed. I’d been uncomfortable anyway thanks to wearing a layer of long underwear, but it was getting worse.

“Hey Scully, do jeans really shrink when they’re wet?” I asked through my chattering teeth.

“I think so? You’re supposed to be able to shrink them to fit. I never tried it.”

“Great.” If I didn’t die of hypothermia, my jeans were going to castrate me.

Since I was unable to extract my soaked wallet from my soaked pocket Scully let me in through her room. She turned the heat up in my room too. “You need to get out of those wet clothes.”

Thanks, Doctor Obvious. I was shaking uncontrollably and losing sensation below the waist. “I’m gonna need some help.” I couldn’t bend enough to reach my feet.

“I’ll get your boots.” I sat on the bed and she started working on the laces while I peeled out of my jacket. Fat lot of good it had done me, now it was just another heavy, sodden layer. I dropped it on the floor and pulled my sweatshirt off after it.

Scully finished fighting with the laces and loosened the first boot enough to haul it off. The sock came with it, and my foot instantly started feeling warmer. Scully completely removed the laces from the second boot and got that one off in less time.

I lay flat and managed through some miracle--maybe getting my boots off had let excess blood flow to my feet from my waist, who the hell knows--to get my jeans unbuttoned. I almost had them unzipped when the teeth snagged in the fabric of my long underwear. Mother _fucker_. Though I was probably lucky that was all that got snagged. I tried to back the zipper up and pull the fabric free, but Scully distracted me. "Lift up."

"Wait a second, it's caught--" Scully hauled on the cuffs of both legs and I gave up on the zipper, trying not to get pulled off the bed. I felt my skin squeak against all that wet cloth and then something started to give.

My jeans slid off in a rush, dragging my long underwear with them and sending Scully staggering backwards across the room into the wall. The sensation of warm air on my skin was beautiful until I realized that I felt it everywhere and that my briefs had gone too. And that… things were happening. I flailed for a moment before I grabbed my soaked sweatshirt to cover myself.

“Well, it looks like circulation isn’t a problem,” Scully said, amusement clear in her voice.

“I’m sorry, Scully, it’s, it must be the pressure, uh, friction--”

“I’m a doctor, Mulder, I know how a penis works," she replied. "Does this mean you won’t help me get out of _my_ wet clothes after all the help I gave _you_?”


End file.
